Anger Managment
Anger can be a very useful behaviour. Ranging from annoyance or irritation through to intense rage, anger is very much a part of the fight/flight response to which we can attribute the survival or the human species in general and our forefathers in particular.
Whilst anger serves the purpose of alerting us and others that boundaries have been crossed, and energising our response to physical, emotional, psychological transgressions, the fight/or flight response evolved in response to dinosaurs and woolly mammoths. Our physical fight/flight arousal, these days in response to work stress, minor insult, or negative social evaluation, may be an over-reaction.
So if anger is useful in some ways, there are no doubt some forms of expression of anger which over time can lead to cardiovascular illness, relationship and employment difficulties. Anger is an emotion, and emotions can motivate behaviour. So angry feelings can result in angry behaviours such as verbal, physical, psychological abuse. It doesn’t have to be that way.
If you feel angry most of the time, even if you don’t express anger but constantly struggle to suppress angry behaviours, if people close to you are frightened of you/worried for you, if angry behaviours are the only strategies you have for achieving what you want from others, if you are using alcohol or other drugs to manage your anger you may need some coaching in other behaviours or forms of expression, and ways of meeting your needs. This allows you to take control and deal with issues in the moment in an effective way that doesn’t create secondary problems and damage relationships and self esteem (yours and others).
It may seem like a huge task at this stage, if you have struggled with anger for some time, but anger management is easily achieved if it is broken down into smaller tasks such as identifying triggers and early signs of growing anger;catch thoughts which increase anger and replace them with thoughts which are reassuring and coach positive coping behaviours before during and after a challenging event; learning to take time-out during flash points and to self- care more generally so that your capacity coping for stress is increased and you are less primed for anger; learn to assert your needs and acknowledge what makes you angry. Rehearse these skills with your psychologist, imagine yourself in situations that often trigger you, but imagine a more helpful response than anger, imagine more positive outcomes than anger usually achieves for you.
If any of this rings true for you, call me.
